"My Attempt in Prose"
(A Town in Wonder, oil on canvas, above)I've written a short story. This was after learning about Camus and the absurdity of life. Try to understand, this is the most philosophical of all my stories to date.
All Too Human
The gas that vapor in the air suddenly started talking to a man.
“What are you really?”
“I am a human being.”
“What makes you a human being?”
“Well we live by absurdity.”
“Air is not absurd contrary to us humans for you are matter, I can determine you through my senses.”
Talk is vague the gas thought. Thinking man was supreme as they were made by some divine being that they were to be supreme above all, he thought he also had the highest degree of intelligence but this changed his mind. Gas thought once more, if he is unseen but felt then he is confined in the self-contained language of human beings. Disappointment still overpowered him that he decided to play with the water and send some changes in the atmosphere elsewhere away from this man. He swooshed over that corner and the wind vane was suddenly in motion over his left and all was silent again. He was still left by his problem from the beginning of his existence. He was in search for something but to this day he seems to be unable to figure out what it really is.
The man went strolling and looked at a cycle of paths interconnected and confusing. This was not a labyrinth though. It was simply confusing.
On his stroll, there were already footsteps of others like him. It was a common path taken by his species. Clearly he wasn’t the first one to take this path.
It was an assortment of terrains. Over the south were heavy monsoons and the scent of newly emerged sprouts of greens. By the west, it was temperate and all was in moderation. The east was arid and was dry, no trace of precipitation in month or perhaps years. Last, the north, this thing I don’t know what to call it, it’s all over the place. These were fine white cotton balls falling over the place that left the place virtually white.
The man went to that vertical entity in the middle of it all, it was the Equator. He said he wanted to feel the sun and be able to meet him somehow.
The sun yawned on this line we know as the Equator. He was seen by the man. They greeted each other, it was already morning. Man gestured a friendly hello while sun returned the favor as courtesy.
“Have you seen the universe?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.”
“How is it like, it is unexplainable.”
“What do you mean?”
“It is a wide empty space.”
“You mean any empty space could be the universe?”
“Yes, because empty spaces can be found anywhere.”
“How wide is it?”
“I honestly couldn’t tell myself for I will not be witness to this in my entire existence for mine is not too long. It is always there an integral part of ambiguity or perhaps the noumenal more over it is like a concept we seemingly find familiar but cannot define it exactly.”
“Would you know if the universe is just right here perhaps by my side?”
“Could be but don’t play with fire for you might slip with a wrong understanding.”
He has always thought that the sun is the center of the universe but how come the sun couldn’t explain what the universe really is.
Man left discontented. He walked farther and farther. If you would look at the earth through a globe, its entirety spans 360degrees. So far he has walked past the 180 degrees and was on the other half of it. It was dark on this other side. There he met this fellow. He was the other half of the sun; he had these huge craters and this luminous presence. It was the moon.
He was nocturnal of course. He was the moon. The night is his time. Night is his day and day is his night.
“What brings you to my lair?” sighed the ethereal being.
“I’m searching for answers to my questions.”
“What questions are these?”
“I do not know myself. I asked the sun knowing he is the center of the universe, what is the universe. He gave me a strange answer.”
“You wonder then?”
“Yes. Why is it like that?”
“You yourself you do not know your own dimensions, how will you put into value which one is true or not.”
“Know yourself. Live in your world. Do not come to the unearthly as they are different.”
“Are you saying I should go back to my world?”
“It is the only way you find an answer to your feeling of indifference as a being.”
He went back to the realm of humans but there was none in sight. Perhaps all were left wandering about like what he did.
He saw somebody though as he saw a mountain, he saw a man raising a heavy rock up the summit of the mountain. At first, he thought he was just doing this as a practice of his strength. He drew nearer and noticed something strange though, as the man reached the peak of the mountain he throws the rock down again and again he starts carrying it to the top again.
The man felt he was insane. His name was Sissyphus. He waited for his descent from the mountain and started talking.
“Why do you do that?”
“It gratifies my life.”
“What logic do you find in the repetitive?”
“It’s not a question whether it’s logical or not. I just find satisfaction in this burden.”
“How do you want me to take your answer?”
“This rock was destined for me and therefore I shall live by it.”
“Do you ever tire of this?”
“I do but it became a part of me, fate you can never escape. Fat can never be altered.”
The man gave much thought on fate and pondered.
“But how could fate be so vain?”
“This is a punishment the gods gave me and I cannot retract it.”
“What was the greatest achievement you have achieved from it?”
“Nothing.”
“Then you must stop it, it’s useless.”
“My job is to hold on to the useless because if I don’t I will fall to the hands of death.”
“Then you are afraid of death.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then you deprive yourself of being a true human being.”
Sissyphus remained silent for a moment. In a little while though he kept on doing what he did and went on as if there wasn’t a man that just talked to him. The man then thought it best one deals with the absurdity of life simply to go through creation and destruction of oneself. It would eagerly justify why there is such thing we call as impermanence. But what if he becomes immortal? He humorously mused but he realized he was already very weary.
“I want to die. It is the only way to give meaning to this useless passion being me.”
He hears the stone fall on its weight again for three successive falls and it goes on. He moved on to this place humans called Null. It was a small cave, a very dark one and he took notice of a sign that said when you go up you will be reborn. The cycle of life, you will go through once again. On the other hand, if he goes down, he drops to this hole, he simply dies.
He goes down, but is there a guarantee he would never come to being again?
The man just left an unopened letter to the world that said (he was preparing this all his life.):
Dear Reader,
I shall not want to see the world once more, see it recur before my eyes. I know too much of it already. I wouldn’t consider living in order to live through struggle and pain ad infinitum. I have grown weary of it and to live even just one more time would be the greatest burden. We live in order to die. It will be a repetitive cycle of pure metaphysics and none of which my senses could explain.
This is not a warning but rather a voice that argues about the essence of living again. What purpose lies when we couldn’t find a way to make us less ridiculous?
Kindly revive me when this ridicule of my being is all over.
Passively greeting my future,
Man.
The gas that vapor in the air suddenly started talking to a man.
“What are you really?”
“I am a human being.”
“What makes you a human being?”
“Well we live by absurdity.”
“Air is not absurd contrary to us humans for you are matter, I can determine you through my senses.”
Talk is vague the gas thought. Thinking man was supreme as they were made by some divine being that they were to be supreme above all, he thought he also had the highest degree of intelligence but this changed his mind. Gas thought once more, if he is unseen but felt then he is confined in the self-contained language of human beings. Disappointment still overpowered him that he decided to play with the water and send some changes in the atmosphere elsewhere away from this man. He swooshed over that corner and the wind vane was suddenly in motion over his left and all was silent again. He was still left by his problem from the beginning of his existence. He was in search for something but to this day he seems to be unable to figure out what it really is.
The man went strolling and looked at a cycle of paths interconnected and confusing. This was not a labyrinth though. It was simply confusing.
On his stroll, there were already footsteps of others like him. It was a common path taken by his species. Clearly he wasn’t the first one to take this path.
It was an assortment of terrains. Over the south were heavy monsoons and the scent of newly emerged sprouts of greens. By the west, it was temperate and all was in moderation. The east was arid and was dry, no trace of precipitation in month or perhaps years. Last, the north, this thing I don’t know what to call it, it’s all over the place. These were fine white cotton balls falling over the place that left the place virtually white.
The man went to that vertical entity in the middle of it all, it was the Equator. He said he wanted to feel the sun and be able to meet him somehow.
The sun yawned on this line we know as the Equator. He was seen by the man. They greeted each other, it was already morning. Man gestured a friendly hello while sun returned the favor as courtesy.
“Have you seen the universe?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.”
“How is it like, it is unexplainable.”
“What do you mean?”
“It is a wide empty space.”
“You mean any empty space could be the universe?”
“Yes, because empty spaces can be found anywhere.”
“How wide is it?”
“I honestly couldn’t tell myself for I will not be witness to this in my entire existence for mine is not too long. It is always there an integral part of ambiguity or perhaps the noumenal more over it is like a concept we seemingly find familiar but cannot define it exactly.”
“Would you know if the universe is just right here perhaps by my side?”
“Could be but don’t play with fire for you might slip with a wrong understanding.”
He has always thought that the sun is the center of the universe but how come the sun couldn’t explain what the universe really is.
Man left discontented. He walked farther and farther. If you would look at the earth through a globe, its entirety spans 360degrees. So far he has walked past the 180 degrees and was on the other half of it. It was dark on this other side. There he met this fellow. He was the other half of the sun; he had these huge craters and this luminous presence. It was the moon.
He was nocturnal of course. He was the moon. The night is his time. Night is his day and day is his night.
“What brings you to my lair?” sighed the ethereal being.
“I’m searching for answers to my questions.”
“What questions are these?”
“I do not know myself. I asked the sun knowing he is the center of the universe, what is the universe. He gave me a strange answer.”
“You wonder then?”
“Yes. Why is it like that?”
“You yourself you do not know your own dimensions, how will you put into value which one is true or not.”
“Know yourself. Live in your world. Do not come to the unearthly as they are different.”
“Are you saying I should go back to my world?”
“It is the only way you find an answer to your feeling of indifference as a being.”
He went back to the realm of humans but there was none in sight. Perhaps all were left wandering about like what he did.
He saw somebody though as he saw a mountain, he saw a man raising a heavy rock up the summit of the mountain. At first, he thought he was just doing this as a practice of his strength. He drew nearer and noticed something strange though, as the man reached the peak of the mountain he throws the rock down again and again he starts carrying it to the top again.
The man felt he was insane. His name was Sissyphus. He waited for his descent from the mountain and started talking.
“Why do you do that?”
“It gratifies my life.”
“What logic do you find in the repetitive?”
“It’s not a question whether it’s logical or not. I just find satisfaction in this burden.”
“How do you want me to take your answer?”
“This rock was destined for me and therefore I shall live by it.”
“Do you ever tire of this?”
“I do but it became a part of me, fate you can never escape. Fat can never be altered.”
The man gave much thought on fate and pondered.
“But how could fate be so vain?”
“This is a punishment the gods gave me and I cannot retract it.”
“What was the greatest achievement you have achieved from it?”
“Nothing.”
“Then you must stop it, it’s useless.”
“My job is to hold on to the useless because if I don’t I will fall to the hands of death.”
“Then you are afraid of death.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then you deprive yourself of being a true human being.”
Sissyphus remained silent for a moment. In a little while though he kept on doing what he did and went on as if there wasn’t a man that just talked to him. The man then thought it best one deals with the absurdity of life simply to go through creation and destruction of oneself. It would eagerly justify why there is such thing we call as impermanence. But what if he becomes immortal? He humorously mused but he realized he was already very weary.
“I want to die. It is the only way to give meaning to this useless passion being me.”
He hears the stone fall on its weight again for three successive falls and it goes on. He moved on to this place humans called Null. It was a small cave, a very dark one and he took notice of a sign that said when you go up you will be reborn. The cycle of life, you will go through once again. On the other hand, if he goes down, he drops to this hole, he simply dies.
He goes down, but is there a guarantee he would never come to being again?
The man just left an unopened letter to the world that said (he was preparing this all his life.):
Dear Reader,
I shall not want to see the world once more, see it recur before my eyes. I know too much of it already. I wouldn’t consider living in order to live through struggle and pain ad infinitum. I have grown weary of it and to live even just one more time would be the greatest burden. We live in order to die. It will be a repetitive cycle of pure metaphysics and none of which my senses could explain.
This is not a warning but rather a voice that argues about the essence of living again. What purpose lies when we couldn’t find a way to make us less ridiculous?
Kindly revive me when this ridicule of my being is all over.
Passively greeting my future,
Man.
NOTE: Artwork posted is an original work. I chose this image for this post because this painting is about a town with nothing in it, yet there are individuals who thrive in it. Like the Existentialist belief, life comes from nothing and only then will we construct meaning. It was intentional that the elements in this painting weren't detailed for the sake of attaining the desired effect. Similar to how I view life, I still feel that I am nothing. Maybe in the future I may construct or direct my own destiny, what will become of me. But for now, I am aware that I linger in nothingness.
posted by gian at 11:21 AM
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